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When & How We Express Our love

The most fundamental and yet elusive of all human feelings is love. Love is when we’re attentive to the other person’s existence. Our individual experience of love is quirky, personal and usually directed at something or someone. The practice of loving are the actions we take to be the best to ourselves and other people, and romantic love when the magic happens between two people.

Romantic love is considered as one of the most exhilarating experiences in life. The connection and deep mutual sense of caring with our partner just makes life easier. It has been said that being loved deeply gives you strength, whilst loving deeply gives you courage.

Here are eight ways to express your love:

Offer a gift to your loved ones

A not so unique gift ideas for Christmas can can be a red rose, a new handbag, a box of luxury chocolates or whatever you know will make her heart sing. A gift for him could be a watch, tickets to watch his favorite band or something else you know he would appreciate. That’s why listening is such a good idea as everyone drops hints about what they like without even realizing it.

Tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate them

It’s good to acknowledge those who’ve impacted our lives, particularly if these are people we’ve taken for granted. Instead of always saying “I love you,” use words that you don’t usually say but also have meaning, you can say “I admire you for…”, “I’m so grateful you…”. If you do say “I love you.” look them in the eye as you say it. Add a hug, a kiss, or gentle touch on the arm for emphasis.

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Offer the gift of listening

If you want to express your love and let someone know how much you care, focus on being a good listener. True listening is the most important aspect of communication. The 80/20 rule is that you listen more, talk less. Listening to others helps us understand their thoughts, opinions and perspectives. Listen to yourself as well, to your true voice and intuition, this will help you feel more authentic and your “I love you” statements will be more real.

Say please and thank you

This seems so simple that it ought not to be here, but many of us forget to say please and thank you in daily lives with our partners. It really can make a huge difference in our lives.

Help someone in need

Helping others has the benefit of making ourselves feel good too. There’s always someone who needs help, whether it’s a neighbor, close friend or someone who’s not the easiest person to deal with. Break through your shyness and help out where needed.

Mail a handwritten letter or card to someone you love

In the years before the internet, we used to communicate with handwritten letters. Today, this is a gesture that many people appreciate as it’s rare to now receive a note in the mail.

Write your loved ones a poem of gratitude

A poem doesn’t have to follow any rules. You can make it fun. It can rhyme, but it doesn’t have to. Start with reasons why you love this person, add how you met and what you hope your future can be. If it doesn’t work in a poem, write a letter.

Practice the art of forgiveness

We are none of us saints, so there will be times we get irritated with our loved one. Remember the 1:3 criticism ratio. This works well in all relationships. The ratio means that you can give one criticism for every three compliments. This keeps things positive and releases frustration.

In summary

It’s not possible to always feel gratitude, but we can always say thank you. We can’t always like other people, but we can try to listen when they are talking to us, and to help them when they are in trouble. We can always treat ourselves gently, relaxing when we want to rush and silencing our inner voices of self-criticism and judgement. Acting in a loving way is more important than feeling loving.